Another
by yesliterally
Summary: A year into their second marriage, Alex and Izzie have built a happy life, but they are wanting something more. Will they get it? Sequel to "Again." CHAPTER 4 POSTED!
1. Chapter 1

**Another**

_Here it is, the sequel to "Again." _

_I have struggled with this one since I finished "Again," taking a short break to write "These Happy Golden Years." There has also been real life stuff going on personally. And I have to say that the recent (but expected) development of Izzie leaving the show hasn't helped my writing any. (Although, I fully predict a series-finale episode (or Justin's last episode) reunion for Alex and Izzie, kind of like Doug and Carol on ER. Especially since Katherine did say she was opened to returning for a visit … we'll just have to anticipate that day for the next few seasons, I suppose. )_

_But what I came to realize is that Izzie being gone now works with "Again" and therefore, it will work with the sequel. So no sadness from me. In my mind, these stories are hopeful and really could happen. Or at the very least, I can pretend that they do!_

_This story takes place a year after the epilogue of "Again."_

_**Oh, and reviews are very much appreciated!**_

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The silvery moonlight filtered into the exquisitely decorated honeymoon suite of a Canadian bed & breakfast. It had been a year since their actual honeymoon, but Alex had wanted to make their anniversary special since they never got to that point the first time around. Stealing her away for a weekend in Victoria, British Columbia, had more than surprised her. He had brought her to tears from the moment they crossed the border. Now, hours later, she lay wrapped in his arms, breathing heavily and wishing that moments like this would never end.

"You still awake," he whispered, his voice evening out.

She turned and looked up at him. "Yeah." She smiled and kissed him gently. Her gentle kiss grew hungry and she moved over him.

"Iz, I love you. But you've got to give me a little more time."

She looked up at him, smirk on her face, holding back laughter. "Oh." She finally couldn't hold back her laughter anymore. She plopped back down on the mattress beside him in a fit of giggles.

The scowl on his face did nothing to quiet her, in fact, it only made it worse. "Sure, laugh. It's hilarious. I'm not 18 anymore. Sorry." Her laughter turned into a guffaw, and she grabbed the pillow from behind her head and tried to stifle the sounds coming out of her mouth. "And neither, might I add, are you." That stopped her.

She pulled the pillow from her face and glared at him. "True. But men reach their sexual prime in their late teens. Women don't reach their sexual prime until their mid to late thirties. I'm right on time. You are way past your's," she said with a smirk.

"Give me a few minutes and I'll show you how much I am not past my prime," he said defensively.

"Oh. Okay old man. I can wait." She snuggled back up against him as he pulled her close. "You think Caleb's okay?"

He pressed a soft kiss to her shoulder. "Iz, I thought we weren't going to talk about Caleb or work or Seattle tonight."

"I know. I'm sorry but It's just the first time Mer and Derek have kept him for this long since Joanna was born. Three kids might just be enough to drive Meredith over the edge."

"They're fine. Mer can summon her inner supermom when she has to. She doesn't do it often, but she can. Plus, wasn't she going to get Callie and Arizona to bring Gracie over to play tomorrow anyway? Caleb will be having so much fun, he won't even miss us."

"True. I think Cristina was going to stop by too."

"Well, she won't be much help."

She slapped his arm with a giggle. "Alex! Be nice. She's got to get used to this parenting thing sooner rather than later. Plus she needs the distraction, with Owen being in DC for three weeks."

Alex scoffed. "She's pretty tough. I think she can handle herself without Hunt being around all the time. Why would she need a distraction?"

"She's at the end of her second trimester." She rolled her eyes at his cluelessness.

"So?"

"So, that's the time in a woman's pregnancy where all she can think about is sex." She looked back at him. "You dream about it, think about it at the grocery store or the library or in the operating room in Cristina's case. You want it so bad that you'd almost compromise your integrity to scratch the itch. It's horrible, especially if there is nothing you can do about it."

"Well, if I was Hunt, I'd get my ass back to Seattle asap. Military or no military." He paused, and Izzie could see the wheels in his mind turning. "I don't remember you going through that when you were pregnant with Caleb."

She shrugged sheepishly. "Well, we weren't exactly in the place for you to know. We were friends, and I thought ... I didn't want to ruin what we had, you know. I thought I'd lost my chance with you," she paused, not sure if she should tell him this. She sighed and gave in. "I did dream about you though." A cocky, cheshire grin appeared on his face. "Those were good dreams. But I didn't think you were interested. Cristina told me to get over myself, walk up to you and ask you to sleep with me."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Want to know what I would have done if you had?"

"What?"

"This." In one quick, unexpected moment, Alex had rolled on top of her and her pinned to the bed. She giggled, wrapping her arms around his neck. "And this..." He kissed her lips gently, silencing her. "And this ..." He moved his lips lower down her body and she shivered at his touch. "And this ..." He nibbled at the sensitive skin around her tattoo. "And this ..."

She didn't hear anymore. She was too busy moaning his name.

* * *

"Oh, look, Alex. Caleb would love it!" Izzie's excited voice rang out next to him as she pointed into the window of the toy shop in downtown Victoria. He knew immediately what she was pointing to. The train set. Their son loved trains. Picture books about trains, cartoons about trains, songs about trains. Alex had even taken him to a train show earlier that year, and the boy had loved it. One of the engineers had given him his hat, and it was Caleb's prized possession.

He smiled at his wife's excitement and nodded. "His birthday is coming up."

"It's perfect." She was beaming at him as he tugged on her hand and they entered the store, ready to make their purchase.

A few hours later they were seated in a little cafe on the main street, waiting on their lunch to arrive. Alex couldn't help but notice that she looked beautiful, even in the simple tan sweater and casual jeans she wore. This time away from everything was just what she needed. She looked relaxed and happy, and he knew that he'd give just about anything in this world to keep that smile on her face.

Her cell phone rang as he was staring and he quickly shook himself from his thoughts as she answered. "Hey, Mer. Is everything okay?" A soft smile quickly formed on her face and Alex knew that Caleb was fine. "Okay I'll put it on speaker." She looked up at Alex as she placed the phone on the table between them. "Caleb wanted to talk to us."

Momentarily, a chipper little voice came over the line. "Hi, mommy!"

"Hi baby," came the equally chipper response.

"Is daddy there?"

Alex leaned in toward the phone."I'm right here, little man."

"Daddy!"

Izzie giggled at her son's excitement. "Are you having fun at Aunt Meredith and Uncle Derek's?"

"Yep! Aunt Callie and Aunt Zoni brought Gracie over to play. Jo's still too little."

"Are you behaving?"

"Yes ma'am," Caleb said, a little too sweetly and a little too quickly. Alex was suspicious, and he knew from the look in her eyes that his wife was too. But their boy just continued. "Aunt Cristina is here too. She promised that she'd buy us ice cream if we weren't loud." Izzie looked over at Alex, and he knew that it was a warning to not make a smart ass remark about Cristina's parenting skills. So he resisted.

"What have you been doing?" Alex asked.

"We watched a Thomas movie. And then we played hide and seek inside since it's raining. Then Aunt Zoni helped us play with finger paints. I might have got paint on the wall. Just a little bit," he said quickly. Ah, there it was. Alex bit back a laugh at the horrified look that covered Izzie's face. "Okay, gotta go. Georgia wants to play duck duck goose. Bye Mommy. Bye Daddy. Love you!"

His voice was quickly replaced with Meredith's. "Iz?"

"God, Meredith I am so sorry about the paint."

"Oh, don't worry about it. It's washable. Derek's taking care of it now." Izzie tried to protest. "Seriously, Izzie. It's all taken care of. Caleb's fine. He just mentioned this morning that he missed you and asked if we could call you. I figured you two would be sleeping in," she said suggestively, "so I told him to wait until lunch time. We're fine here."

"You're sure?"

"You two have one more day left of your vacation. Enjoy it. Don't worry about what's going on here. Oh, and by the way, I think Caleb has a little crush on Gracie."

"What?!" Izzie shrieked in horror at the idea but Alex just chuckled and leaned back in his chair, thinking that his son had good taste. The little girl that Callie and Arizona had adopted from Nicaragua the year before was only six months younger than Caleb. With tan skin and dark hair and eyes, she was already a pretty little girl.

"It's cute, Izzie!"

"No Meredith, it's not." A little pout appeared on her face.

"Callie and Arizona think it's cute."

"He's not even three!" The two women continued their conversation until the food they had ordered was placed on the table. The couple was starving and they wasted no time digging into their dishes.

"We need to figure out what to do for his birthday party." She looked up at him as she sat her phone down on the table. "He already told me that he wanted 'Thomas the Tank Engine' on his cake, so I guess we'll just go with that theme. Do you want to have it somewhere else, or just something simple at the house?"

He looked back up at her, eyebrow raised. "I'm not taking a bunch of kids miniature golfing, if that's what you're asking. Something at the house sounds like a better idea."

"Okay. Good. That's what I wanted to do too." Her phone beeped and she picked it up. Her smile turned upside down in a moment and sadness clouded over her eyes.

Concern washed over him as he leaned closer to her. "Mer again?"

"Uh, no. Dr. Campbell's office was just sent an email confirming our appointment for next week." She sighed and put the phone back down. That was exactly what he didn't want to happen. Her excitement over planning their son's third birthday party suddenly disappeared, and a solemn look appeared on her face.

"Iz. It'll be okay."

"Alex, you heard what she said last time. This is it. We're using the last of the viable embryos. The last two treatments didn't work. What if the next one doesn't either."

"Then we deal with that when the time comes." He hated bringing this up, knowing what her reaction would be. He placed his hand over hers, rubbing gently with his thumb. "There are other options, you know."

"I know, I know. I just want to give birth to another baby. I can't explain it."

"You don't have to explain it. I understand, really I do." His hazel eyes locked with her chocolate ones, and he was unable to keep the sigh from his voice. "But you know as well as I do that we can't change the results of the IVF. It just doesn't work all the time. We got lucky with Caleb. Blood doesn't make a family, Iz. We can still have another baby, even if you don't give birth to it."

She half-smiled at him. "You're right. I'm sorry. I'm being silly. But it could still work."

"Right. It could." He knew he had to get her mind off of this subject, or it could ruin the rest of their vacation. "So, we were talking about Caleb's party. …"

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**Okay, let me know what you think. Should I keep going? Reviews, please!**


	2. Chapter 2

**ANOTHER**

_**Chapter 2**_

_You guys are amazing with your response to this story. I'm very humbled and grateful for reviews. You rock!_

_So this is a fun chapter, getting us reacquainted with the "family." We'll meet the newest members, find out how everyone is doing and learn about the changes that have taken place since the end of "Again." So I hope you like it.** Please review and let me know what you think.**_

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"Food smells good. My compliments to the chef."

Alex looked behind him at Meredith, holding baby Joanna in her arms. A teasing smile lit up her face as she watched him man the grill. "Iz prepared it, I just put it on the grill. You know my cooking skills aren't great. I mean, I'm better at it than you are, but that's not setting the bar too high." He winked in her direction as she scoffed.

"Shut up!" She turned to watch stare out into the yard. He followed his friend's line of sight and his eyes landed on what looked like a very serious game of tag. Izzie and Derek and Arizona were running around with about 15 kids, making sure no one got hurt, and apparently having a blast themselves if their smiles were any indication.

At the same moment, his wife glanced up and met his gaze. Even from across the backyard the look they shared spoke of hope and happiness. He knew that she was stressed from the waiting and wondering. He was too. The thought of having another person that was a part of them both always seemed to be at the forefront of his mind. And he was worried ...

"You okay?" Meredith broke through his thoughts.

He looked back down at the burgers and hot dogs that were cooking. "Uh, yeah. Fine."

"She looks happy." his friend bounced her daughter in her arms and moved to grab a toy out of her nearby diaper bag. "Has she had any symptoms?"

He shook his head. "No, but she didn't really with Caleb, so that doesn't really mean anything."

"True." She hesitated. "Alex, she told me that this was the last chance."

"Yeah," he sighed.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm alright with it. I'm open to other options. I'm just worried about her if she isn't pregnant. How she's going to deal with it. Or not deal with it." He began transferring burgers to the platter sitting next to the barbecue. "She wants this so bad."

"I know she does. But she's tough, Alex. She's survived worse. You both have."

"Yeah." He sighed as he added more food to the grill. His thoughts were soon interrupted with voices coming from the driveway.

"You know, I made it through the surgery just fine. I don't know what his problem is. I'm not an invalid. I'm pregnant..." Alex and Meredith tried to hold back their laughter as Cristina and Callie walked into the backyard holding gift bags. Well Callie walked. Cristina waddled as she ranted on and on. "... Which is his fault."

"I'm ten feet behind you, Cristina. I can hear every word you're saying." Owen's voice was heard before he turned the corner, a huge wrapped box in his arms. "You are doing way too much. You should be relaxing, not spending seven hours straight in the OR. You need your rest." His eyes moved over to Alex. "Karev, where does this thing go?"

He pointed to the table that was already filled with brightly colored packages. Owen moved that direction and Cristina followed after him, complaining the whole way. Callie looked at Alex and Meredith. "That was their conversation the whole way here from the hospital. If you lived much further away I might have jumped out the window of their moving car."

"Cristina doesn't like the restrictions that come with being pregnant," Meredith said with a giggle. "Rest, take it easy ..."

"... No liquor," Alex added.

Callie laughed at the truth of that statement. "You should have seen Hunt's face when he saw her name on the board for that surgery. He flipped out. I had to block the door of the OR to keep him from barging in."

"See, he should know by now that Cristina's going to want to be in the OR as much as possible until the baby comes." Meredith said, still bouncing Joanna in her arms. "She told me that I wasn't even to talk to her about the maternity leave she's, and I quote, 'being forced into.'"

Alex snorted. "She'll probably offer to do her own C-section, just to get one more chance to cut."

As soon as he said it, Meredith's hand came in contact with his shoulder. "Don't give her any ideas, Alex!"

"I"m just saying that Hunt's going to have to use one of those house arrest ankle bracelets to keep her out of the hospital for six weeks."

"She'll change her mind," Callie said with a grin. "About the maternity leave. Once he gets here, she's going to understand. Arizona and I weren't planning to use all of our leave, but once we met Gracie, neither of us wanted to be away from her for too long. Even someone like Cristina will understand." Being parents, they all nodded in agreement.

"She is excited about the baby." Meredith sat down on a nearby bench. "She may not show it all the time, but she really can't wait. It is a good thing they're having a boy, though. Can you imagine Cristina having to deal with all the pink and lace and girly stuff."

"Caleb's glad that they're having a boy, too. He says 'no more girls.'" Everyone laughed, as they could totally imagine the child saying that.

"He seems fine with Gracie," Callie responded with a smirk.

"Yeah, do me a favor and don't mention that to Iz. The idea of her baby having a crush on anyone freaks her out a little bit. He's growing up too fast for her taste."

"Alex!" He turned to look at his wife when he heard her call his name across the yard. "The food ready yet? Our stomachs are growling over here."

"Yep, just finished. Come and get it." A wave of kids headed toward the deck where the food was set up. Soon the grown ups had them all seated around the tables and helped themselves to the food that was left.

Alex walked up next to Izzie, who was talking to Derek. "Here you go." He handed her a paper cup full of punch.

"Thanks." She pressed a soft kiss to his cheek. "So how is Liza doing full time?"

Derek rolled his eyes. "You trained her well, I'll say that. She does the job, but I swear, the woman never stops talking. She's twenty seven years old, but has the vocabulary of, like, a fourteen year old." Izzie and Alex laughed at his impression, knowing it was the truth. "I know it's important for you to stay home, Izzie, but the second you decide you want to come back to work, call me."

"Oh, that won't be for a while." A huge smile covered her face. "I love being at home with Caleb. I've only got two more years before he starts kindergarten and I want to spend as much time with him as possible before that. And we'll have another one that needs watching in about nine months."

"Iz ... " Alex said as he placed his hand on her back. He wanted to say more, but she clearly knew that his words would be a warning not to get her hopes up. They'd been like this the entire two weeks since the procedure. The tension in their house had been enough to drive both of them a little bit insane. He knew she didn't want to hear it. This time she didn't let him say anymore.

"Alex, I know you don't want me to get my hopes up this time. But it worked. I can feel it. We've got the appointment with Dr. Campbell on Monday and she'll confirm it." She kissed his cheek again and walked over to where Caleb, donning his engineer's hat, was sitting between Gracie and Georgia eating.

Derek watched silently, clearly a little bit uncomfortable about witnessing such a private conversation. Alex saw the sympathy in the older man's eyes and looked away. He felt Derek's hand on his shoulder. "Maybe she's right. Maybe it worked."

"I hope so. If not, I just ... I'm not sure how to help her."

"You'll figure it out. There's no one on this planet who knows Izzie better than you do. You spend time with her, let her know that you're there and you'll both get through it together."

He nodded, knowing that what the older man was saying was the truth. "Yeah."

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_Next Chapter: Pregnant? Not Pregnant? Find out in Chapter 3..._

**So that's Chapter 2 … Please REVIEW and let me know what you think!**


	3. Chapter 3

**ANOTHER**

_Chapter 3_

_Once again, you are so amazing with the reviews, and I'm glad you are all enjoying this story. I actually am enjoying writing this one even more than the last one because I'm not paying attention to the off-screen drama going on with the show or worrying about what will happen with Izzie and Alex there. I'm just living in my happy place, years after the split (and after their reunion!) So keep joining me in that and** let me know what you think!**_

* * *

The drive home was painfully silent. Izzie hadn't cried like the had the first two times they'd received this news. Alex glanced over at her in the passenger seat as she continued to stare straight ahead. Any attempts to get her to talk were shutdown immediately. This had been his worst fear. That she wouldn't be able to handle this possibility.

Looking in the rear view mirror, he saw that Caleb had fallen asleep in his seat, clearly exhausted from all of the fun he had playing with the kids in day care all afternoon. Izzie had thought it would be best for him not to go with them to the appointment. It had been scheduled for 3 p.m., but he'd gotten stuck in surgery when Arizona had gone home with the flu. Dr. Campbell had been nice enough to stay in her office until he finished just after dark. Now he wished that she'd just put them off another day. At least it would have been one more day for Izzie to be hopeful about the baby.

As they pulled in the driveway, he heard her sigh and he hope it meant she was ready to talk. He was wrong. As soon as the car was in park, she exited and disappeared inside the house. He shook his head fighting the emotion of the evening. Caleb stirred in the back seat and Alex quickly removed him from his seat and took him inside. He expertly tucked him into his bed and kissed him goodnight, grateful that the boy was not awake enough to realize that mommy wasn't helping.

He walked into the master bedroom to find his wife already in bed, facing away from him, a clear sign that there would be no talking tonight. He knew her well enough to know when she needed space. So he left her alone.

After showering and spending some time in his office researching a case, he finally gave in and went to bed himself. He climbed into bed next to her. He could tell by her breathing that she wasn't asleep. He reached out to touch her, wanting nothing more than to hold her, she flinched and moved away from his hands. He sighed, turned over and tried to forced himself not to think about the child that could have been. He felt a single tear drop on his face as the world faded to black and he fell into a dream-filled sleep.

* * *

The movement of the bed jostling beside him broke through the sleep he had been in. Alex stirred, habitually reaching his arm over to bring his wife closer to him. What he felt was a recently vacated side of the bed, still warm where she had been laying. He opened his eyes and confirmed she wasn't there. Glancing around the room, he saw that the sun was beginning to rise and then he saw light under the bathroom door pointing him to where Izzie was. It was then he remembered the sad news of the day before. He lay back down on his pillow, unsure of what to do and how to get her through this.

The silence was broken by a muffled sob. He immediately sat up as Izzie's cries became louder. He sighed running a hand down his face and climbed from the bed. He knew what had happened. She'd finally broken down. She was done needing space and now she needed him. He quickly pushed the covers back

"Iz," he whispered as he cracked the door open, looking inside. The sight of his wife sitting on the ground, leaning against the large tub, knees curled up to her chest and tears streaming down her face broke his heart into a million pieces. She looked up at the sound of his voice. But she didn't say anything.

Sitting down beside her on the cold floor, he gathered her into his arms and pressed light kisses to her temple. His comfort only made her cry harder, but he expected that. He knew her, and he knew that she needed to grieve.

"Sshh. It's okay, Iz. I'm right here."

"No it's not okay, Alex. That was our last chance." Her voice was drenched with sadness and the hurt was on display all over her face. "I'm never going to have another baby. Don't you understand that?! We're not going to get to hold another child that we made together. Never going to be able to give Caleb a brother or a sister. It's not right. It's not fair!" She dissolved into her cries again, her face pressed against Alex's chest.

He remained silent, fingers tangled in her hair, knowing that nothing he said would change the circumstances. It killed him to see her like this. She didn't deserve it. They didn't deserve it. But it was the hand they had been dealt and he knew that he had to stay strong for her.

Suddenly the door cracked open and their son walked in. He looked at his mother, then at his father and then back again. His brown eyes widened at the sight of his mom crying into his dad's chest. Alex cringed at the fact that he saw them at that moment. Seeing your mother crying was an image that was hard for a kid to get rid of. He had seen that himself plenty of times and had never forgotten.

"Caleb, do me a favor, buddy, and go play in your room for a few minutes. I'll be there in a little while, okay?"

The boy said nothing but nodded and quickly retreated out of the room.

Alex gave Izzie a few minutes more, before he stood and lifted her up into his arms and carried her to the bed. He looked down at her as she began to wipe her tears onto the sleeve of the robe she was wearing. "Will you be okay for a few minutes? I need to talk to Caleb." She nodded sadly, clearly not wanting to be left alone. "Maybe try to get some sleep?"

"Okay." She turned over and he knew she wouldn't sleep. His heart was torn between taking care of his wife and making sure that their son wasn't too traumatized. It was when he closed the door to the room he shared with Izzie that a plan began to form. He grabbed his phone off the kitchen counter, quickly dialing a number.

"Hello?"

"Derek. It's Alex."

"Hey man. Everything okay? You sound a little tense."

Alex hesitated a little bit, but Derek was family and he'd find out soon enough. "I ... no. Everything's not okay. ... There's no baby."

"God. I'm so sorry, Alex. Is there anything we can do?"

"Well, actually, I know it's a lot to ask since Mer is working today, but do you think there is any way you could keep Caleb for a while. Iz isn't taking this well and I need to focus on her right now." Alex felt ridiculous as he paced the living room floor, but he had to keep moving, to keep busy, to keep from feeling his own heart breaking both for Izzie and that baby.

"Of course I will. In fact, Hunt's coming over and we were going to take the girls fishing down at the creek. Georgia's been begging to go and this is the first day in weeks that it's been nice enough for it. Caleb will love it. I'll give Owen a call to see if he'll pick him up on his way out here. I'll call you if he can't."

"Thanks man. I appreciate it."

"And Alex."

"Yeah?"

"Give Izzie our love, okay?"

"Yeah."

He hung up the phone and moved down the hallway to find Caleb sitting in a corner of the room quietly playing with the train set he'd gotten from them at the party on Saturday. He looked up when his father walked in and something in the boy's eyes let his father know that he thought he was in trouble. Alex sat on the edge of the toddler bed, trying to think of the best way to explain this to a three year old.

"Hey little man."

"Hi Daddy." He put his train back on the floor and moved it in a circle around him.

"You okay?" Alex got no response, a clear sign that he was upset and didn't want to talk. A Karev trait, no doubt. "Caleb, look at me." His son looked back up, tears welling in his eyes. "Come here." The boy climbed up in his lap and he hugged him tightly.

"Why is Mommy crying? Did I do something wrong?"

He smoothed the child's mess of sandy blond hair down. "No. No. You didn't do anything wrong, okay. Something happened that made Mommy sad. But she'll be okay, we just need to give her some time to start feeling better." The boy nodded again as his tears dried up. Alex smiled down at his son. "But I have a surprise for you. Uncle Derek said that he's taking Georgia and Jo fishing and they want you to go with them.

"Can I Daddy?" A huge grin appeared on his face.

Alex smiled back and nodded. "Uncle Owen's going to come by and pick you up in a little while. So we've got to get some stuff together for you."

By the time Owen picked up Caleb, the boy was so excited that he had forgotten to focus on what he saw that morning. Alex was relieved and hoped that he would be able to move past it.

Izzie was a different story, he knew. After seeing Caleb off, he headed back toward the master bedroom. Izzie was still laying on her side and he knew that she was still wide awake. Crawling into his side of the bed, he put an arm around her and pulled her close again.

"Alex ..." she barely got his name off her lips before the sobs began again. This time he did nothing to quiet them. They were alone in the house and there was no one to hide the harsh realities from. It was just them and they needed to grieve. They needed each other.

* * *

_I know, I know. It's really sad. But I need you to trust me with this._

_So, now what? Will Izzie be able to get past this? Will Alex be there for her?_

_**Next Chapter:**_

_"Iz," he broke off her words. "You have nothing to apologize for. It hurts. It hurts me too, but you're allowed to be upset. It's something we both wanted. Life just didn't happen the way we thought it should. I just want you to be able to move past it."_

**REVIEWS ROCK MY WORLD !!!**


	4. Chapter 4

**ANOTHER**

_**Chapter 4**_

_First of all, I want to address something that came on my radar in the review section. I appreciate the concern that anyone may have about the characters. I work very hard on keeping them in character. Some may agree that I do, others may not. And that is fine. I'm more than okay with constructive criticism. In fact, I welcome it. We must all realize, though, that everyone reacts differently to heartbreak in our lives. Just because one person reacts to a situation one way does not mean that everyone else does. And Izzie in the last chapter was not giving up. She's heartbroken. She's allowed to cry. It had been less than 24 hours since her dream of another child had come crashing down around her. Izzie did not purposely cry in front of Caleb. He walked in on them. It happens. Giving up would be crawling under a table and dying. She's not, which you will see in this chapter. I'm not getting defensive, just responding to some concerns. A clarification, if you will._

_Okay, moving on ... I think you'll find this one far more lighthearted and happy. Maybe you'll even see "old" Izzie pop up here..._

* * *

It had been three weeks. Three weeks since she'd been forced to give up the dream of giving birth to another child. After she'd broken down in the bathroom after finding out the news, she had begun to heal. She was forcing herself to heal. For Alex. And for Caleb. He needed his mother and she wanted to be there. A smile came to her face as she thought about her son that looked so much like her but was still very much like his father.

Washing the dishes that had been left behind from the night before, she heard Alex enter the kitchen. "Morning." He leaned in and kissed her gently on the cheek.

"Morning. Caleb still asleep?"

He nodded as he sat on one of the stools in the kitchen. "Yep." She could feel his eyes on her as she finished up the last of the dishes. "How are you feeling?"

"Better," she said as she looked up at him. "I feel better than I have in a while, actually. I, um, I'm sorry for the way I acted after we found out, and in the last few weeks ..."

"Iz," he broke off her words. "You have nothing to apologize for. It hurts. It hurts me too, but you're allowed to be upset. It's something we both wanted. Life just didn't happen the way we thought it should. I just want you to be able to move past it."

"I am. I'm trying, at least." She paused concentrating on mixing pancake batter, getting ready for breakfast.

He tentatively and hesitantly opened his mouth to speak. Izzie tensed, knowing what he was going to say. "So does this mean you're open to talking about other options?"

"Talking about them. We can talk about our options. But, Alex, I can't make you any promises. Not yet. But I'm getting there." Her heart ached as the words came out of her mouth. She didn't really want to talk about options, she still wanted her babies. Her's and Alex's. But the look on his face, she couldn't deny him the hope that she saw there. "So start talking."

"You know the options we have, Iz. Egg Donor, Surrogacy ... Adoption."

"I, uh, I've just now gotten used to the idea that I'm not going to have anymore of our babies. Please don't ask me to get use to the idea of carrying a baby that's part you, part random egg donor. Plus, I don't know why the last three treatments didn't take, but part of me can't help but feel that some of it is my fault. I can't go through that again. Please don't ask me to."

There was sympathy on his face, a look of understanding. He nodded. "Okay. That's fine. What about a surrogate?"

"I'm not _totally_ opposed to the idea. Another woman," she had to spit the words out, "would be healthy and probably wouldn't have any problem carrying a child to term. But …" she paused.

"But what?"

"But it's still part you and part someone else." She saw the hurt on his face. "I'm sorry. I know I sound ridiculous, but I guess part of me would be jealous that nothing about this child would be mine. It's silly, I know."

He shook his head. "It's not silly, Iz. I understand. If things were reversed, if it were me, I'd probably freak out if you suggested the idea of a sperm donor to me. There's always the adoption route. There are lots of kids who need good homes. We could give that to one of them. Or twelve if you want to."

She laughed. "Not twelve." She looked up at him, half smile on her face. She sighed. "Giving up Hannah was the hardest choice I ever had to make. I've always wondered what she'd say to me if I ever met her. If she'd hate me for giving her away. How would I explain that I gave her up and then turned around and adopted another child. I never got over the guilt of giving her up. I can't help but be unsure of adopting. Of whether it would be fair to her." Her eyes swelled with tears thinking about her first pregnancy.

Alex stood and walked up behind her, wrapping his arms around her. Placing his mouth next to her ear. "You don't have to make a decision now. We've got time. I only want you to think about it."

She turned to face him, pausing only briefly to check the pancakes on the griddle. "I'll think about it." She kissed him softly, and he pulled her closer and deepened the kiss. "Alex." He ignored her and continued kissing her, backing her up against the counter beside the stove. "Alex," she protested again, a giggle playing on her voice. "The pancakes are going to burn." He broke away from her long enough to turn the stove off and move the pan from the heat. Her mind told her that he had just wasted part of the batter and that she'd have to reheat the stove top, but his hands were making their way underneath her camisole. The feel of his fingers against her stomach made her lose all coherent thought.

Suddenly little footsteps bounded into the kitchen. Izzie pushed on Alex's chest and he backed away from her. They looked behind them to find Caleb standing there, jumping from one foot to the other, smile plastered on his face. "Mommy, is Gracie coming to play today?"

She leaned down and looked at the boy, kissing him on the forehead. "What? No 'Good morning, Mommy?'"

"Sorry. Morning, Mommy." He looked up at his father. "Morning, Daddy." Izzie watched as Alex picked Caleb up and tossed him into the air, as part of their morning routine. She couldn't help but be a little proud at the image. At the amazing father Alex had become."What's for breakfast?" Caleb looked back over at her.

"Pancakes!"

"Yay!"

"Except, I have to start over because of Daddy." She looked pointedly at Alex. As she moved back over to the stove, she tossed the half-cooked pancakes in the garbage disposal. She started over as Alex sat back on the stool with Caleb in his lap.

"Oh, Mommy didn't seem to mind Daddy messing up the pancakes." He sent a suggestive smirk her way and she rolled her eyes in an effort not to laugh.

Caleb caught none of this."Is Gracing coming over?" he asked again.

Izzie couldn't help but giggle at her son's attention span. "Yep. Aunt Callie's bringing her over right before lunch."

"How long is that?"

"Oh, about five hours," his father answered.

"That's forever!" Caleb said, his voice suddenly whiny.

"It won't be that bad. Eat your breakfast and then I'll take you outside for a little while before I go to work. That'll help make some of the time go faster. What do you say?" Alex looked down at his son in his lap.

The boy looked up a grin on his face. "Okay, Daddy."

Alex looked up into his wife's eyes, a smile that mirrored Caleb's playing on his lips. Shaking her head at the two peas in a pod, she looked back down at breakfast, smile covering her face.

* * *

"Izzie?"

She looked up from the laundry in her hands at the sound of her garage door opening and someone calling her name. "Hey Callie! I'm in the living room." Callie rounded the corner, Gracie toddling in beside her. "Hey Gracie Boo!" The little girl let go of her mom's hand and ran over to Izzie, who scooped her up immediately.

"Aunt Izzie!"

"Hi sweetie!

"Where is Calep?"

Izzie laughed at the girl's pronunciation. "He's in his room playing. Come on. Let's go see what he's doing."

Izzie walked to Caleb's room, Callie following right behind. She opened the door and saw her son on the floor playing with his train set. He looked up and saw his best friend in his mother's arms. "Gracie!"

Wiggling out of her aunt's arms, Gracie ran over to him as soon as her feet hit the floor. "Calep!" They hugged for a minute and then Caleb took her hand and pulled her over to his toys. The kids were quickly engrossed in their own world, and their smiling moms headed back to the living room.

"Gracie was bouncing up and down in her car seat, she was so excited."

Izzie nodded in understanding. "Caleb couldn't wait either." She smiled at the other woman as she put the last of the folded laundry back into the basket.

"I'm glad they get along so well." Callie followed behind Izzie as she made her way back to the kitchen. "Who knows, we might be related some day."

"Yeah, that's so not funny." The women laughed together.

"Alex said you might say that." Izzie watched as Callie stood against the counter, suddenly hesitant about something. She finally opened her mouth to speak again. "So, uh, I ran into Louise O'Malley at the market the other day."

Izzie looked up, surprise marring her face. "Really?"

"Yeah."

"How ... how is she?" Izzie began pulling lunch supplies out of the refrigerator and placing them on the counter.

"Great, actually. She got remarried a few years ago. A retired airline pilot. They've got three grand kids now. Two girls and a boy. She showed me tons of pictures. They're adorable." She smile, a distant look in her eyes. "The boy actually favors George a little bit."

Izzie took a minute for the words to register. "I still miss him," she admitted, looking up and meeting the other woman's gaze.

"I know. Me too." They had come to an understanding over the years. They were friends and they realized that they were the only ones who could understand what it really felt like to miss George O'Malley. Once they became mothers, that bond grew.

"I just wish he could have met Caleb. I know Meredith wishes the same thing about Georgia and Jo."

"Yeah. These kids need an Uncle George," she sighed. "I guess we'll just have to tell them all about him."

Silence filled the room as Izzie began getting lunch ready. Callie suddenly could tell that she was upset about something. "Izzie, I didn't tell you that to upset you. I just thought you might want to know."

"It's not that. I'm glad you told me. I'm really happy for them. It's just ... other things." She paused, not sure if she should bring it up. "What was your adoption like?"

Surprise registered on Callie's face. "Are you guys considering adopting?"

Izzie sighed. "Alex wants to. I promised him I'd start thinking about our options. He wants another one so bad. We're ready for another baby. More than ready. We talked about egg donors and surrogacy, but I just ... I can't. It sounds petty, but the thought of raising a child that will be physically part of him but not me, it's just too much. It shouldn't bother me but it does."

"It's okay for it to bother you. It would bother me too. You're not being petty, just honest." Izzie nodded, deep in thought when Callie's voice broke through again. "I thought I wanted to give birth, but then Arizona suggested adoption after that big earthquake hit Latin America. When we got Gracie, I knew that she was my daughter. So did Arizona. It didn't matter that I hadn't given birth to her. She's a part of me. A part of us and the final piece of our family. I wouldn't have changed that for anything."

"Was it difficult? The process?"

"Well, it was an international adoption, so there were certain hoops to jump through. But because of the quake, they were really quick, relatively speaking. The adoption lawyer we worked with was great. He does domestic adoptions, too. I can give you his number if you'd like."

A smile lit up on her lips. "Yeah. I'd like that."

After pulling a business card from her purse, Callie sensed the need to change subject entirely. "So, Cristina is dead set against a baby shower. She has no idea about the surprise you and Arizona cooked up...."

* * *

Alex walked in late that night, after Caleb had already gone to bed. Izzie was reading on her side of the bed when he entered their bedroom, exhaustion covering his face. Izzie looked up at him. "Hey. Rough day?"

"You could say that." He shrugged out of his shirt and pants and moved over to the bed. He crawled in and kissed her. "If I have to fix up one more kid who's been beaten to a pulp by a parent, I may just lose it. Had a kid come in today with a ruptured spleen and two broken ribs. Dad said he fell down the stairs. Total bullshit."

Sympathy filled her eyes as she kissed him again. "I'm sorry, Alex."

"Yeah. Me too." His eye moved from her to his pillow, where a piece of paper garnered his attention. It was a business card. He picked it up. "What's this?"

Izzie set her book on the night table. "He's the adoption lawyer that Callie and Arizona used when they got Gracie. I called his office today. They won't be able to see us until next month. I'll be ready by then. ... If you will be."

"Seriously?"

She nodded, smile spreading on her face. His face soon mirrored hers and he pulled her close to him, kissing her soundly.

* * *

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